Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Gain More Muscle

Question: My girlfriend started training a few months back and now wants to change gears and not gain any more muscle but retain muscle mass. What is the right approach? Is not progressing on her lifts anymore going to do the trick?

Answer: While very few men don’t want to gain more muscle (if a man says they don’t want more muscle they’re either an athlete trying to avoid going up a weight class, or they’re lying) and even fewer women will gain enough muscle for this to be a problem (unless they’re using anabolic steroids or other growth drugs). However, there are some women who are naturally very responsive to strength training and do gain muscle quickly and may want to simply maintain their physique without continuing to gain beyond some point.

You’ve already guessed the answer; the way to stop gaining and maintain what you have is to simply reduce and remove the key factors from your workouts that are required for stimulating muscular strength and size increases; intensity and progression.

Drew Baye instructs a client on the Nautilus Nitro leg extension

If you stop progressing the resistance on exercises for muscle groups she doesn’t want to keep growing and have her perform those exercises only for a fixed number of repetitions whether or not she has achieved momentary muscular failure and maximum intensity of effort, those muscles will stop getting bigger and stronger. Assuming you make no other changes in her workout, if you keep her resistance and repetitions the same on those exercises they will eventually cease to be challenging enough for her to stimulate further improvements in strength and size.

The lack of these factors is a big part of the problem with many people’s training and the reason they are not making gains in strength and size. The vast majority of people do not train anywhere near as intensely as they are capable of, and many do not keep a workout chart or journal to track and evaluate their performance and systematically progress the resistance they use. Without these their progress will be hit and miss, and far from optimal, if they make any noticeable progress at all. So, to look at this another way, if you want to stop making muscular strength and size gains another solution would be to do what almost everybody else in the gym is doing, and if you want to get the best results possible do the opposite of them, train with a high intensity of effort and with progressive resistance.

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  • Ryan Feb 12, 2016 @ 17:52

    Hey Drew,

    Thanks again for another great article!
    Still trying to learn more of how this works. My understanding is that maintenance is actually regression, which you did mention that the person “will stop getting bigger and stronger.”

    Just a couple questions. Would they also lose other benefits that they would get from challenging their body, such as metabolism rates, conditioning, etc.?

    And would it be better to control muscle gain by nutrition like reducing calories, while they are still able to challenge themselves more? Or is it because for some it doesn’t matter because of their genetics. Just wondering what would be optimal or if it really makes that big of a difference.

    Thanks again for all your help.

    • Drew Baye May 23, 2016 @ 17:40

      Hey Ryan,

      There would be other benefits to going to momentary muscular failure, since the harder the muscles work the greater the demand on thus the stimulus for improvement in many of the supporting factors of functional ability. Depending on how far calories are reduced muscle gains would be slowed or stopped, but some people may still gain muscle at the expense of fat stores while restricting calories.

  • Dan Feb 13, 2016 @ 9:54

    Question, my daughter is a freshman thrower in track. She wants to get stronger but there are a few problems. They weight train twice a week but the program is not only ridiculous but dangerous with emphasis on front squats, power cleans, hang clean push presses etc. and when they do go in the weight room it’s so crowded they take turns and only get a couple of sets with just the bar of about 2 exercises so it’s ineffectual. They practice 6 days a week and her legs get sore from sprints so I worry adding anything will compromise recovery. We have a basement full of equipment and she wants to train at home because she isn’t getting anything from the school program. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks

    • Drew Baye Apr 10, 2016 @ 11:00

      Hey Dan,

      I’m sure the coaches are aware of the problem the crowding causes in the school gym so they may agree if you ask them to excuse your daughter from the workouts there and assure them she will be strength training at home. There you can have her perform more sensible workouts consisting of safer and more effective exercises and tailor them specifically to her, based on how well her legs and other muscle groups are able to recover from the combination of track practice and exercise.

  • Ryan Feb 19, 2016 @ 1:22

    Hey Drew,
    Thanks again for another great post!
    Still trying to learn more of how this works. My understanding is that maintenance is actually regression, which you did mention that the person “will stop getting bigger and stronger.”
    Just a couple questions. Would they also lose other benefits that they would get from challenging their body, such as metabolism rates, conditioning, etc.?
    And would it be better to control muscle gain by nutrition like reducing calories, while they are still able to challenge themselves more? Or is it because for some it doesn’t matter because of their genetics. Just wondering what would be optimal or if it really makes that big of a difference.
    Thanks again for all your help.

    • Drew Baye Feb 20, 2016 @ 14:03

      Hey Ryan,

      Maintenance is like swimming against a current; unless you balance your speed perfectly to the current you’re not really maintaining, you’re either going to regress or progress slightly. Since a loss of muscle or decrease in functional ability is rarely desirable you’re better off erring on the progress side if you’re trying to maintain.

      • Ryan Feb 20, 2016 @ 14:52

        That’s a perfect way of explaining it!
        Thanks again Drew!!

  • Marius Feb 19, 2016 @ 19:07

    Thanks for the reply.

    What about the cardiovascular benefits of a proper HIT? Would you include some kind of endurance or sprint training as a replacement?

    • Drew Baye Feb 20, 2016 @ 14:19

      Hey Marius,

      You still wouldn’t need to add anything else for general cardiovascular and metabolic conditioning. It might not improve as quickly or as much, but even when backing off slightly a HIT program is still far more effective for these than anything else.

      The only reason to add those other activities would be if you want to do them for fun or if you need to practice the specific skill of the activity for sport or work, since skill improves economy of movement and endurance.

  • JLMA Jun 9, 2016 @ 22:36

    Thank you, Drew,

    What about (so to speak) “directing” “muscle group” growth? Is this possible? A myth?

    I mean (talking about the back muscle group, for instance):

    Is it possible to workout (the back) muscles in such a way that promotes increase of (front-to-back) (back) thickness rather than (left-to-right) (back) width?

    Or, is this a myth?

    Thank you.

    • Drew Baye Jun 11, 2016 @ 12:54

      Hey JLMA,

      No, you can’t selectively increase only the thickness or width of a muscle and you can’t isolate most individual muscles within a muscle group well enough to only stimulate them to grow without also working the rest, For example, you can’t isolate and work your rhomboids, middle and lower traps hard enough to noticeably increase the thickness of your back without also involving and stimulating growth in your lats and increasing the width. You might be able to emphasize one slightly more than the other, but not to the exclusion of the other.

  • Mark May 27, 2017 @ 13:36

    Drew,
    I know this may be coming up in your new books, but my wife was wondering if you suggest any particular routines for women? Or is it the same for the guys? For women who do want leaner looking but not more size on the thighs do you recommend one exercise over the other? Obviously a lot of time on the adductor machine like many do is out! 🙂 Thanks!

    • Drew Baye May 30, 2017 @ 12:17

      Hey Mark,

      Any workout or routine I would recommend for a man or woman would only be a starting point from which to make adjustments based on their body’s response to exercise and what they want out of it. Most women’s fears about gaining too much muscle are unfounded.